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Offline (the 02/20/2015 at 1:34am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 September 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2358
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About pistachiopanda : Work for the US Government.
I'm Romanian, born and raised!


I'm just a badass, it's true :)

pistachiopanda's page activity

Visits<b>wanted_2_want</b> - yesterday at 7:48pm<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 12/07/2016 at 10:55pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 3:13pm<b>RCSLASH</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 1:42pm<b>TeraBaap</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 1:56pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 10:58am<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:13am<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 11:04pm<b>ChuckHolmes</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:47am<b>Sia_Will</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:33pm<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 9:25pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 1:51pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 7:07pm<b>PixilatedTaco</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:23pm<b>angrykid11</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 4:41am<b>kazustach</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 12:09am<b>gnj123</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 6:06am<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 7:04pm

Fucked!<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 4:55am<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 1:04am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 10:08am<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:19pm<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:38pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 1:44am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 12:43am<b>A07</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:50pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 4:44pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:01am<b>jacksonpm23</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:28am<b>mehibud</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:05pm<b>ibmike22</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:39pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:23pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:17am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:26pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:41pm<b>SpartanMerc</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:19pm

pistachiopanda's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of pistachiopanda's badges

pistachiopanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

by chiktikka / 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm / United Kingdom / Money

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

by sex deprived / 06/16/2013 at 1:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2009 at 9:12am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous