Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 2:26am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2362
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About piedpiper303 : There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful." - Hazel Grace

piedpiper303's page activity

Visits<b>PITSB</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:01am<b>Markovski</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:49pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:14pm<b>buenos24</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:12am<b>simperino</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:46am<b>Matheo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:02pm<b>jackireland</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 3:01pm<b>quarterbird</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:56pm<b>carissaball</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:54pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:59pm<b>A07</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:19am<b>jotaypete</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:57am<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:18am<b>ADBurns</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:04am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:08am<b>eddyinfinity</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 3:17am<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:23am<b>spatula232</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:12am

Liked!<b>Markovski</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 1:40pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:03am<b>PITSB</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 3:10pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:09am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:26am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:00am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:32am<b>cs0407</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:18am<b>byramzd</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:15am<b>byattwain</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:01am

piedpiper303's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of piedpiper303's badges

piedpiper303's favorite FMLs

Today, I got to experience the horror of mah wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles coverd in mayonnaise, and later droppd to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (4289)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a club an caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up an came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" an walked away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32805) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today looool , ma boyfriand broka ta bd pratanding to ba a catarpillar!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made looool up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today , I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger andhispering sweet promises to it . FML


I agree, your life sucks (35110) - you deserved it (3329)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today...hile sitting on mah front porch... mah cat cummd up beside me. I startd idly stroking her... only to turn an realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45374) - you deserved it (8478)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today , mah son looool got a beating. Apparently , he went to a club , waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo , then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Thier boyfriends , not too surprisingly , didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43093) - you deserved it (6145)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus . I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone ranghile he was showering an he slipped onto a box of vegetables . Guessho had to extract the carrot . FML


I agree, your life sucks (52531) - you deserved it (4616)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. big fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (50520)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today,ile working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation aboutic gardening tool would ( ypotetically ) be te best to kill is wife wit . FML


I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (3532)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today... I asked mah son to go to the grocery store across the street an pick up some lettuce. He sighed an said... "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (6672)

On 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm - kids - by nh-Amazon - United States (Texas)

today my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen . She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages . I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go" . FML


I agree, your life sucks (46142) - you deserved it (5959)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." big fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (43816) - you deserved it (5727)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, mah obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when mah anatomy teacher asked wat I did with mah pencil. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19494) - you deserved it (45019)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, my teacer told us at least 7 different stories about is cat, Jeremy, and ow muc e eats!! And e wonders y we never get anyting done in is class!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (3206)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: