About phew : These are words.
phew's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
phew's favorite FMLs
Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML
by theseguysarewhipped... / 10/06/2014 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML
by PickYourselfUp / 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by FML / 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
by SadMother / 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
by runsinthefamily / 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 11:17am / Denmark / Health
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
by cuteloser / 10/04/2014 at 9:57am / Australia / Love
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 8:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2014 at 6:14pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
by hopeless / 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…