phew

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Offline (the 06/20/2016 at 4:20am)

phew

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11202
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>NateshN</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 8:48pm<b>TheZombieGirl</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:23am<b>uhhitsmegan</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:58am<b>Coco_Tolisso8</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:21am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 7:00pm<b>mylm</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:50pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:29pm<b>solo_super</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:20am<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:48pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:04pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:45pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:56am<b>xEDENx</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:44pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:46pm

Fucked!<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

by roidrager / 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

by shatfjord / 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

by epic174 / 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm / United States / Holidays

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

by wtfmom / 10/07/2014 at 5:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm / United States / Kids

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

by whywouldyoudothat / 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

by thanks babe / 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

by thenewgirl / 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

by kittenfish8903 / 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm / United States / Love

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

by eh / 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm / Azerbaijan (Baki) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

by theseguysarewhipped... / 10/06/2014 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

by PickYourselfUp / 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Health