Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phew

Offline (the 02/13/2015 at 1:27am) | Search for a member

phew

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5152
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:20pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:32pm<b>TheJm4jEst1c</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:23pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:00pm<b>junglemouse</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:05pm<b>TumnA</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 1:28pm<b>Maczilla1</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:44pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:41am<b>averynicole18</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:12am<b>x3jmac27</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:49pm<b>AHSFan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:10am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:32pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:59pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:01pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Bretzelife</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:38am<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:26am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:03am

Liked!<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>catherine012</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:18pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

#21270236
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (5142)

On 10/03/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML

#21270214
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/03/2014 at 5:13pm - work - by hopeless (man) - Canada

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

#21270200
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister and her new husband invited our family and my fiancé over to look at their wedding pictures. Turns out, I caught the bouquet and flashed the world in the process. FML

#21270191
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (3713)

On 10/03/2014 at 4:22pm - misc - by sisterofthebride (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43293) - you deserved it (3655)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, my colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of 'Tapeworm or Toilet Paper?' in the homeless shelter's toilets we were asked to clean. FML

#21270023
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (3356)

On 10/03/2014 at 7:29am - work - by whydoidothis (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML

#21269981
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (2210)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:00am - misc - by youredisgusting - United States (California)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (10305)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

#21269752
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33483) - you deserved it (2670)

On 10/02/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by Sorry (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

#21269595
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34031) - you deserved it (2895)

On 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by Vkaz (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

#21269405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37244) - you deserved it (4438)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:56am - work - by rejected - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39396) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: