phew

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Offline (the 02/15/2016 at 4:10pm)

phew

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10442
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>Coco_Tolisso8</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:21am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 7:00pm<b>mylm</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:50pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:29pm<b>solo_super</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:20am<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:48pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:04pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:45pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:56am<b>xEDENx</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:44pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:46pm<b>samanthajulie</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:02am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 12:37am<b>a_28xo</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:50pm

Fucked!<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

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You've liked someone. How cute!

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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phew's favorite FMLs

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

by katsaysner / 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (Maine) / Work

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2014 at 6:13am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

by axewoman / 10/17/2014 at 4:14am / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

by karmaaa / 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

by not saying it was whores, but... / 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

by roidrager / 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

by shatfjord / 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

by epic174 / 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm / United States / Holidays