phew

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/22/2016 at 5:23am)

phew

9Fucked!

phew
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11653
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>lostinOz</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 8:47am<b>AlexisCrystine</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:17am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:30am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:21pm<b>NateshN</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 11:38pm<b>TheZombieGirl</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:23am<b>uhhitsmegan</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:58am<b>Coco_Tolisso8</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:21am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 7:00pm<b>mylm</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:50pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:29pm<b>solo_super</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:20am<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:48pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:04pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm

Fucked!<b>lostinOz</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:47pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

by Chansus10 / 10/20/2014 at 11:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

by NateTheGreat132 / 10/20/2014 at 7:59am / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

by bye loser / 10/20/2014 at 5:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

by ColdStones / 10/20/2014 at 4:50am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 10:53am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

by Queensland / 10/18/2014 at 3:20am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

by melissa1028 / 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

by KayyElOh94 / 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

by catt / 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm / Germany (Berlin) / Health

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

by katsaysner / 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm / United States (Maine) / Work