Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phew

Offline (the 06/23/2015 at 2:46pm) | Search for a member

phew

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7577
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:44pm<b>branhuds</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:57am<b>_lyricall</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 12:44pm<b>mylm</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:35am<b>ColonelFML</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:04am<b>tamannab97</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:46am<b>TumnA</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:24pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:36pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:20pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:32pm<b>TheJm4jEst1c</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:23pm<b>junglemouse</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:05pm<b>Maczilla1</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:44pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:41am<b>averynicole18</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:12am<b>x3jmac27</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:49pm<b>AHSFan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:10am

Fucked!<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>catherine012</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:18pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

#21161435
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39604) - you deserved it (7991)

On 06/03/2014 at 7:56am - money - by xerrika - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (15663)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML

#21161379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41705) - you deserved it (5147)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:56am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

#21160529
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50076) - you deserved it (4135)

On 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

Today, I searched up ways to fix my eyebrows since they were so bushy and thick. I took my tweezers and set to work. It went to shit. So now, I have one completely straight eyebrow that makes me look like Bert from Sesame Street and another that's arched like Nina Dobrev's. FML

Today, my boyfriend's mother hung a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend up. We've been together for 3 years now. Guess she really does hate me. FML

#21160163
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50949) - you deserved it (3922)

On 06/02/2014 at 3:33am - misc - by really?? - United States (California)

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML

#21159630
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42918) - you deserved it (11242)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49016) - you deserved it (5280)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

#21159568
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39264) - you deserved it (3719)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:03pm - work - by not paid enough (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49140) - you deserved it (5180)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

#21159292
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46880) - you deserved it (4842)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63978) - you deserved it (9317)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

#21159082
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (8576)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:28am - animals - by Fat Arsed Lass - New Zealand (Auckland)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: