phew

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phew

10Fucked!

phew
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11694
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - 8 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>lostinOz</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 8:47am<b>AlexisCrystine</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:17am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:30am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:21pm<b>NateshN</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 11:38pm<b>TheZombieGirl</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 1:23am<b>uhhitsmegan</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:58am<b>Coco_Tolisso8</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:45pm<b>Rozeyyy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 6:21am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 7:00pm<b>mylm</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:50pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 3:29pm<b>solo_super</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:20am<b>Katrinnaw</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:48pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:04pm

Fucked!<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - 2 hours ago<b>lostinOz</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:47pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

by NextTimeMom'sDriving / 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

by Sleepdeprived / 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Maine) / Animals

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

by imalosertho / 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

by idiotson / 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I got a very serious case of the shits while in the middle of trying to close a sale, and had to run to the bathroom. My coworker picked up the sale, stealing all the commission in the process. FML

by shudson186 / 06/10/2014 at 8:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Kids

Today, I got cited for "internet plagiarism" and called to the dean's office. I'd been sitting a closed-book written exam, and my teacher had been breathing down my neck the whole time. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2014 at 11:05am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

by Where is it coming from?! / 06/09/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

by Teu_much / 06/09/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

by Harry / 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck / 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals