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phew's favorite FMLs
Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML
by sushipanda9 / 10/20/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
by Bartender / 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by bstent / 10/20/2014 at 3:11pm / United States / Love
by Chansus10 / 10/20/2014 at 11:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML
by NateTheGreat132 / 10/20/2014 at 7:59am / United States (New York) / Work
by bye loser / 10/20/2014 at 5:28am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by ColdStones / 10/20/2014 at 4:50am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom / Work
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 10:53am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Queensland / 10/18/2014 at 3:20am / Australia / Transportation
Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML
by melissa1028 / 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy
by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals
by KayyElOh94 / 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm / United States / Kids
by catt / 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm / Germany (Berlin) / Health