About phew : These are words.
phew's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
phew's favorite FMLs
Today, I'm on a class trip to Washington DC. Last night, my roommate took a shower, and I decided that I would take one in the morning. This morning, I found out after I got out of the shower that my roommate used one towel for drying himself, and the other for a mat. He didn't hang either of them up. FML
by WheatiesMan / 06/15/2016 at 6:52am / Miscellaneous
by staciefacecat / 06/13/2016 at 9:03pm / Love
Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML
by Kakapo4Ever / 05/20/2016 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 4:41am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after driving for four hours to visit my best friend for the New Years break, she still hasn't finished up her skype conversation and left her room to greet me. She knows I'm here. I've spent the last hours watching youtube videos with her cat. FML
by Anonameow / 01/02/2016 at 11:57am / United States (Virginia) / Holidays
Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/02/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by IHateMySister / 01/02/2016 at 5:36am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Transportation
- Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does… Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he… Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up…