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phew

Offline (the 01/04/2016 at 6:38am) | Search for a member

phew

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9813
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:04pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:45pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:56am<b>xEDENx</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:44pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:46pm<b>samanthajulie</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:02am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 12:37am<b>a_28xo</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:50pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:28am<b>caidenjohnson</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:11pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:37am<b>_lyricall</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:07pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:29pm

Fucked!<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33868) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38690) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43713) - you deserved it (3816)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39568) - you deserved it (3311)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (6178)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (2930)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36514) - you deserved it (7473)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (2469)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35454) - you deserved it (9789)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (3634)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31940) - you deserved it (3867)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)



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