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phew

Offline (the 02/13/2015 at 1:27am) | Search for a member

phew

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5173
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>arasx0</b> - 21 hours ago<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:20pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:32pm<b>TheJm4jEst1c</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:23pm<b>junglemouse</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 8:05pm<b>TumnA</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 1:28pm<b>Maczilla1</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:44pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:41am<b>averynicole18</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:12am<b>x3jmac27</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:49pm<b>AHSFan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:10am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:32pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:59pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:01pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Bretzelife</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:38am<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:26am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:03am

Liked!<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>catherine012</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:18pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

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phew's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (4082)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33536) - you deserved it (3673)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (7125)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35741) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (2878)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (4766)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you deserved it (2089)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (2458)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38241) - you deserved it (2774)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36806) - you deserved it (2932)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (5494)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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