About phew : These are words.
phew's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
phew's favorite FMLs
by jigglypluff / 11/19/2014 at 12:27am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
by steak through the heart / 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML
by hatemydentist / 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
by drugsforthugs / 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by jessiejaybee / 11/18/2014 at 5:41am / United States / Love
Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML
by _RaeRae / 11/18/2014 at 4:26am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
by blindsparrow / 11/18/2014 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML
by HereToLaughAtU / 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML
by ohgosh... / 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by phonebaby / 11/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by back to cock-hunting / 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML
by ChimerV / 11/15/2014 at 1:20pm / France (Lorraine) / Work
Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2014 at 10:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
by coveholli / 11/15/2014 at 9:43am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…