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phew's favorite FMLs
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
by Anon / 12/25/2015 at 9:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/25/2015 at 8:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by swimmonster81 / 12/25/2015 at 4:22pm / Money
Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML
by probably on death row soon / 12/25/2015 at 1:32pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/17/2015 at 8:59pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML
by Pandistoteles / 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm / United States / Kids
Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML
by Anyonexx0 / 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
by blemarooney / 04/14/2015 at 11:49am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by MissAggravared / 11/19/2014 at 3:27am / United States (Idaho) / Love
by jigglypluff / 11/19/2014 at 12:27am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
by steak through the heart / 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML
by hatemydentist / 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML
by drugsforthugs / 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous