About phew : These are words.
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
phew's favorite FMLs
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
by young and dumb / 08/27/2016 at 2:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by horriblelife3006 / 08/27/2016 at 2:08am / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I had a fever from a stomach virus. I was shivering with cold sweats while she explained there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but she would regret not giving her cheating ex a second chance. FML
by sick and lonely / 08/26/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, my soon-to-be ex-wife decided she'll be moving into my apartment complex. She always goes out of her way to pick fights with me every chance she gets, has alienated my children from me and has made what should be a very simple divorce into a ridiculously long and contentious one. FML
by stillnotdivorced / 08/26/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my new supervisor arrived after my old one had transferred away and we had a quick evaluation meeting. As it turns out, I'm not actually a good employee like I thought. I just had a shitty boss who didn't care enough to let me know I wasn't meeting company standards. FML
by UnderAcheiver / 08/26/2016 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML
by ThankfullyNotKickedOut / 08/26/2016 at 2:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad is obsessed with making sure that I am not in any way 'bare' in front of the windows of our house. Which is surrounded by tall trees, five metres worth of tall trees. I'm not sure whether to be creeped out that someone might see me or that my dad is unhealthily obsessed about this. FML
by HellCat44 / 08/26/2016 at 5:59am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML
by raquelcita / 08/26/2016 at 2:05am / United States (Florida) / Work
by anon... / 08/26/2016 at 12:10am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML
by cullenthegreat / 08/25/2016 at 12:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
by Caqtusmonkey / 08/25/2016 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I decided to pop the question to my beloved. Perfect lighting, fresh cut roses, a fancy dinner. The restaurant was in on it too. Shame they brought out the wedding-themed congratulations dessert before I actually went down on my knee. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML
by Earthling / 08/24/2016 at 10:20pm / Colombia (Distrito Especial) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…