Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phew

Offline (the 01/04/2016 at 6:38am) | Search for a member

phew

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9830
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:04pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:09pm<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:45pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:56am<b>xEDENx</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Katdurin</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 7:44pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:46pm<b>samanthajulie</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:02am<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 12:37am<b>a_28xo</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:49pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:50pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:28am<b>caidenjohnson</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:11pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:37am<b>_lyricall</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:07pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:29pm

Fucked!<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me I sound like a squeaky toy during sex, and asked if I could get it under control because it creeps him out. FML

#21510905
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (3720)

On 01/03/2016 at 4:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (22347)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after driving for four hours to visit my best friend for the New Years break, she still hasn't finished up her skype conversation and left her room to greet me. She knows I'm here. I've spent the last hours watching youtube videos with her cat. FML

#21510596
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (1653)

On 01/02/2016 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonameow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML

#21510579
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18808) - you deserved it (7675)

On 01/02/2016 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Years party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

#21510574
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19379) - you deserved it (1573)

On 01/02/2016 at 10:57am - love - by anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

#21510539
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21086) - you deserved it (1207)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:36am - misc - by IHateMySister - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

#21510516
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20431) - you deserved it (3462)

On 01/02/2016 at 3:25am - kids - by me - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML

#21510493
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9904) - you deserved it (23036)

On 01/02/2016 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

#21510463
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/02/2016 at 12:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sneezed incredibly hard while eating a granola bar. 5 hours later, it's still hellishly painful to swallow. Please kill me. FML

#21510414
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19617) - you deserved it (1689)

On 01/01/2016 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after much reflection, I realized my "happy childhood" was more like "the years I was oblivious to how much people despised me." FML

#21510381
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20051) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/01/2016 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML

Today, I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend. We didn't have sex and we didn't even kiss. All I got to do was cuddle the stuffed Minion she got me for Christmas. FML

#21510303
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/01/2016 at 5:41pm - love - by no love - United States

Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML

Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered "goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML

#21507931
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19168) - you deserved it (1677)

On 12/25/2015 at 11:24pm - work - by well scrooge you too (man) - United States (South Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: