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phew's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 4:41am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, after driving for four hours to visit my best friend for the New Years break, she still hasn't finished up her skype conversation and left her room to greet me. She knows I'm here. I've spent the last hours watching youtube videos with her cat. FML
by Anonameow / 01/02/2016 at 11:57am / United States (Virginia) / Holidays
Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/02/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by IHateMySister / 01/02/2016 at 5:36am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 10:46pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML
by Puff301 / 01/01/2016 at 6:25pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by no love / 01/01/2016 at 5:41pm / United States / Love
Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML
by ardea_alba / 01/01/2016 at 3:27pm / Russian Federation (Sverdlovsk) / Love
by well scrooge you too / 12/25/2015 at 11:24pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work