Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

phew

Offline (the 07/06/2015 at 9:58pm) | Search for a member

phew

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8379
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About phew : These are words.

phew's page activity

Visits<b>Shipley18</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:50pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:28am<b>caidenjohnson</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:11pm<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:37am<b>_lyricall</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:07pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:29pm<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:44pm<b>branhuds</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:57am<b>mylm</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:35am<b>ColonelFML</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:04am<b>tamannab97</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:46am<b>TumnA</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 9:24pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:36pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:20pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:32pm<b>TheJm4jEst1c</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:23pm

Fucked!<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:07pm<b>yoloswaghunny</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:43am<b>christina3466</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:32am<b>Foxy_On_Fire</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 9:03am<b>randomgirl1234</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:03pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:58pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 2:47am

phew's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of phew's badges

phew's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29908) - you deserved it (2507)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34318) - you deserved it (3240)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43331) - you deserved it (3075)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40727) - you deserved it (3050)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (4615)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (6294)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44298) - you deserved it (3882)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, it was the fourth time I've had major dental work done, because my dentist messed up my root canal. After almost a dozen needles, three missed work days, over $1,000, and 2 broken tools, I only have a tiny, barely-successful filling to show for it. FML

#21301373
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (3046)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:45pm - health - by hatemydentist - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40519) - you deserved it (4114)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32337) - you deserved it (3476)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (2696)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
119 comments

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36661) - you deserved it (2581)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: