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pheonixxe

Offline (the 06/12/2015 at 8:58pm) | Search for a member

pheonixxe

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 182
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About pheonixxe : I am a ginger from Wyoming with an amazing girlfriend and an adorable kitten. That is all there is to know about me.

pheonixxe's page activity

Visits<b>shain1988</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:02pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:30am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 6:02pm

pheonixxe's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of pheonixxe's badges

pheonixxe's favorite FMLs

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

#21419303
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (7111)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

#21418872
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (1904)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:37pm - misc - by somebody (woman) - United States

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

#21417917
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (2835)

On 05/30/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25800) - you deserved it (5528)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32379) - you deserved it (2981)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (3030)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (2682)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35905) - you deserved it (3682)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (5098)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37037) - you deserved it (2235)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (12525)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121) - you deserved it (2590)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36344) - you deserved it (2420)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

#21353772
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm - animals - by jackskellington - Australia (New South Wales)



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