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pflahert

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pflahert

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  • Number of visits : 1475
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pflahert's page activity

Visits<b>Tempest151</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:33pm

pflahert's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of pflahert's badges

pflahert's favorite FMLs

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (3235)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

#21412642
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22327) - you deserved it (7691)

On 05/19/2015 at 4:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (3045)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

#21412386
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (4299)

On 05/19/2015 at 2:45am - intimacy - by username - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, I got stopped by people asking for donations for their charity services. Being who I am, I hate saying no to people, so I told them "I don't have any money, only my card." Did you know they also accept payment by card? FML

#21412233
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (6225)

On 05/18/2015 at 9:22pm - money - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (6241)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (1995)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

#21410631
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (1803)

On 05/15/2015 at 6:26pm - money - by that was mine - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34191) - you deserved it (1983)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (2546)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my wife confided in a coworker that she wants to sleep with him, because our marriage is loveless and sexless. News to me. FML

#21410043
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (2644)

On 05/14/2015 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by semokco (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

#21409743
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14115) - you deserved it (29985)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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