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pflahert

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pflahert

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  • Number of visits : 1907
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pflahert's page activity

Visits<b>Tempest151</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:33pm

pflahert's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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pflahert's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

#21450242
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (1577)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14873) - you deserved it (24438)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20207) - you deserved it (1478)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (1585)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26242) - you deserved it (3962)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (1576)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (2093)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12649) - you deserved it (23647)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was working at a bakery, a woman stormed in, cut in front of the line, and began yelling at me. She claimed I didn't give her a sandwich earlier and demanded a refund. She got the refund out of my paycheck, and as she was leaving she muttered, "Ha, works every time." FML

#21446622
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (1794)

On 07/24/2015 at 4:08pm - work - by jb100 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML

#21446532
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (1404)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (2473)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML

#21445547
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24492) - you deserved it (5066)

On 07/22/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

#21445322
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10807) - you deserved it (46765)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26355) - you deserved it (2298)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)



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