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pflahert

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pflahert

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pflahert's page activity

Visits<b>Tempest151</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 12:33pm

pflahert's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

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pflahert's favorite FMLs

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24146) - you deserved it (1870)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (2196)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

#21380389
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (2209)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (2949)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

#21379776
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28060) - you deserved it (2319)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:24pm - kids - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

#21379225
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26234) - you deserved it (2915)

On 03/22/2015 at 12:03am - health - by noway - United States (California)

Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

#21379106
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (2817)

On 03/21/2015 at 8:07pm - misc - by van no gough (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

#21379056
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (3454)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27458) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

#21378357
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (4737)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:40am - health - by quietecho95 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

#21378350
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (2455)

On 03/20/2015 at 11:26am - love - by falling short (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I finally went to the doctor's about my severe anxiety. I am so used to putting on a happy performance around people that she didn't believe anything was wrong with me. FML

#21376536
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:35pm - health - by scared - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

#21376371
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (15170)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm - health - by Iwtumn (woman) - Austria



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