About penguin182 : Well, I can't think of anything clever to write here, but follow me on Instagram; "lukaskagstroem"!
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
penguin182's favorite FMLs
Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML
by StargazeKitsune / 05/06/2015 at 8:48pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
by lostintdot / 07/31/2014 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm / Norway (Nordland) / Work
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
by say no to dick / 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML
by badessaymyass / 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by PoeticPathetic / 04/15/2014 at 10:28pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML
by sad but true. / 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML
by worker666 / 04/13/2014 at 10:51am / United States / Work
by princess / 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm / United States (California) / Love
by BeatByA9yrold / 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by IcyWinter / 04/02/2014 at 4:16am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety.… Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off,… Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get…