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peachykeenLNG's favorite FMLs
by Keladrylady / 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by headache / 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by OzzyWannabee / 02/20/2015 at 3:12am / Miscellaneous
by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML
by badprofessor / 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
by lostintdot / 07/31/2014 at 7:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 1:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
by WasntWorthIt / 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes / 07/25/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML
by Sheh / 07/16/2014 at 11:02am / Sweden / Animals
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people.… Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd… Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave…