Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

peacheso

Search for a member

peacheso
  • Town/Country : williamstown NJ, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 586
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About peacheso : It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

peacheso's last visitors

WienerschnitzelBonefish84kevinhenningJustTemporarymombostuckBunchieRulesShayaanpineapplefuck

peacheso's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of peacheso's badges

peacheso's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (7990)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45652) - you deserved it (3709)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40043) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40692) - you deserved it (2311)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (2154)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (5968)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

#20860701
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41579) - you deserved it (5309)

On 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm - love - by >_< (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40429) - you deserved it (3094)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (2268)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40561) - you deserved it (17909)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (12630)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (34704)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55672) - you deserved it (6216)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48865) - you deserved it (5153)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

#20858850
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (7934)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:07am - misc - by Pontiacman92 (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: