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pcentral's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML
by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Work
Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML
by op-poopy / 04/22/2011 at 10:26am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by BackToRehab / 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Ldp56 / 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
by fianceeless / 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Geek
by Anonymous / 05/20/2010 at 7:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
by Oops / 02/06/2010 at 3:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by graospe / 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML
by Charlie / 09/08/2009 at 6:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML
by Wow / 09/03/2009 at 9:45pm / United States / Love
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML
by regected / 08/30/2009 at 8:19am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…