About pcentral : Hey FMLers!
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About pcentral : Hey FMLers!
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pcentral's favorite FMLs
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm / United States / Love
by hmmmm / 08/13/2012 at 8:19am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Love
Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML
by Arthurie / 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent train-wreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
by hannaslifesucks / 06/24/2012 at 2:41pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
by fired / 05/13/2012 at 2:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by geez_wth / 05/06/2012 at 7:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ANNIEDBD / 03/23/2012 at 5:44am / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
by yeahhhhhommmie / 09/18/2011 at 5:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health
by isucksomuch / 07/31/2011 at 2:18am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Qwerty / 06/28/2011 at 12:10pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML
by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about… Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something… Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off,…