pavingboy

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Offline (the 03/06/2016 at 5:08am)

pavingboy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1215
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pavingboy's page activity

Visits<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:01am<b>Greg_DGZ</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 5:52am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:29pm<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:08am<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:10am<b>JustForRetorts</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:05am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:20pm<b>rocker_chick105</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:21pm<b>pris0027</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:26pm<b>acke01</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 7:56pm<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:30pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:48pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:30pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:21am<b>NWO666</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:41pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:50pm<b>Emiler98</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:35pm<b>bryant2900</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 2:43pm

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pavingboy's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the only reason my "friend" comes over to my apartment is so that she can charge her phone using my electricity, because she's too cheap to use her own. FML

by Becca_Jo / 01/05/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, my friend insisted I wear her brand new hoodie for the day. When I gave it back after a few hours, she said she just needed it stretched and couldn't find someone fatter to stretch it for her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 9:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 3:24pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML

by MiceMiles / 12/10/2015 at 7:34am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, while at a fastfood restaurant, I wanted to wash my hands. The restrooms were locked, so a cashier got the key and opened the mens restroom. This would have been fine if I wasn't a girl. FML

by turtles_yup / 12/03/2015 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

by iskalion / 10/10/2015 at 1:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

by supersplatoon / 09/08/2015 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

by donuts678 / 08/16/2015 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML

by 18emikot / 08/03/2015 at 11:26pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

by TheAce44 / 07/26/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while reading my girlfriend's kids a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm / United States / Kids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

by alison / 07/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States / Intimacy