Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pattycakeys12

Offline (yesterday at 6:14am) | Search for a member

pattycakeys12

2Fucked!

pattycakeys12pattycakeys12
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4347
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pattycakeys12 : Not entirely sure how you got here since I don't comment and I don't stalk,very often;), but gimme a fuck and ill fuck ya back

pattycakeys12's page activity

Visits<b>menabella</b> - yesterday at 1:31pm<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:51pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:48am<b>venomousflower</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:22pm<b>acrochick27</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:30pm<b>alex_622</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:52am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:49pm<b>weeyin12</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:51am<b>BBlah</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:53am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Novadi</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:25pm<b>mightyxmidget</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:34pm<b>xokpxo</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:13am<b>soccer8goalie</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:56pm<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:48am<b>flux_panic</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:53am

Fucked!<b>menabella</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:04am<b>weeyin12</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:51am

pattycakeys12's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of pattycakeys12's badges

pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41980) - you deserved it (7470)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34965) - you deserved it (6596)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50902) - you deserved it (6707)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43889) - you deserved it (4705)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48433) - you deserved it (17877)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50708) - you deserved it (8824)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (47886)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45778) - you deserved it (7105)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

#21057252
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (23136)

On 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by FUUUUCK (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

#21057082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (6704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42879) - you deserved it (7476)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51126) - you deserved it (10041)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44217) - you deserved it (9487)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: