About pattycakeys12 : Not entirely sure how you got here since I don't comment and I don't stalk,very often;), but gimme a fuck and ill fuck ya back
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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes / 07/25/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML
by Kewl_Kat / 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by TCRII / 07/23/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by someonepleasehelpme / 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by chloecamp / 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by NoSexForMe / 07/13/2014 at 3:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML
by Workhorse / 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
- Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his… Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude… Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our…
- Today, I asked my girlfriend for a blowjob. She turned down my request, but not because she didn't… Today, a homeless man ran by me, smacked my butt, winked, and ran away laughing. I definitely felt… Today I went to the shops, commando. And old lady started to sing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" to me.…