About pattycakeys12 : Not entirely sure how you got here since I don't comment and I don't stalk,very often;), but gimme a fuck and ill fuck ya back
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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs
by EternalBlossom / 07/14/2015 at 1:03am / United States / Intimacy
by savannahsboxxx / 07/11/2015 at 8:09am / United States / Animals
Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML
by getting real crafty.. / 07/05/2015 at 11:51am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by stink / 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML
by AddictiveAddicted / 06/28/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML
by very analytical / 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML
by Iamsosorry / 06/22/2015 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids
by thanks for the $5 gift voucher / 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML
by Badhairday / 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Not Gay / 06/08/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML
by .......... / 06/07/2015 at 5:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…