About pattycakeys12 : Not entirely sure how you got here since I don't comment and I don't stalk,very often;), but gimme a fuck and ill fuck ya back
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pattycakeys12's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML
by ThroatSlasher / 08/17/2015 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Love
by MoxleyCrue / 08/17/2015 at 3:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML
by MikaykayUnicorn / 08/15/2015 at 11:41pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by fridgemylifee / 08/13/2015 at 1:39pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML
by thekyledavid / 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by eventer1919 / 08/03/2015 at 10:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Son of a Bitch / 08/01/2015 at 1:17pm / United States / Holidays
by fishingforubies2 / 07/24/2015 at 10:02am / Aruba / Work
Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 2:18am / Work
Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML
by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by battle1 / 07/17/2015 at 7:00am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML
by sarahxHx / 07/14/2015 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Love