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paintedwings12

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paintedwings12

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2822
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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paintedwings12's page activity

Visits<b>Markovski</b> - yesterday at 10:20am<b>wayrpowe3</b> - yesterday at 12:55pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 10:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 9:00am<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:14pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Mons</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:50am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:13am<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:16am<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:50am<b>dangoldman</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 8:19am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 12:32am<b>goldfish78</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:46pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:09pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:35pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:31pm<b>Begiz</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:26am<b>muzy</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:50pm

Fucked!<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - yesterday at 4:52pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:20pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:16pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:43am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:42pm

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paintedwings12's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (112811)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51333) - you deserved it (6660)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

#20604416
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48502) - you deserved it (5663)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53572) - you deserved it (8663)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

#20599573
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (9829)

On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51296) - you deserved it (8354)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42454) - you deserved it (11578)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40531) - you deserved it (8427)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44728) - you deserved it (19011) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60021) - you deserved it (10777)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50722) - you deserved it (10883)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52720) - you deserved it (11915)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47533) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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