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owlishes

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owlishes

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 578
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:28pm<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:02am<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Sneado</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:12pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:21am<b>pooldude</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:45am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:54pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:22pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 3:08pm<b>jryan2</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:21am<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:17am<b>LoganGillease</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:41pm<b>int15</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:19pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:40pm

Fucked!<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:54am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:22am<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:08pm

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owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

#21432298
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25087) - you deserved it (2420)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Good Parenting? - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (3679)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

#21423823
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28333) - you deserved it (1767)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:00am - misc - by Spa Catholic - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (4314)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

#21420192
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (5097)

On 06/03/2015 at 11:46am - health - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (6237)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32666) - you deserved it (2390)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (10487)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32602) - you deserved it (7081)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (4527)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (2192)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (15448)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



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