owlishes

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Offline (the 11/23/2016 at 9:37pm)

owlishes

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1575
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>helloitsmeee</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 9:34pm<b>Gremlinswife</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:03am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:48pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 6:19pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 1:06am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:07pm<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:21pm<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 2:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>HoboMeth</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Kcoate1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:51am<b>betweenwinds</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:14pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:54am<b>DerpAngel</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:37pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:49pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:26am<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:37am

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:44am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:54pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:08pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:54am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:22am<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:08pm

owlishes's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of owlishes's badges

owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, "What kind of penises do you guys have?" wasn't even the weirdest thing I've heard my elderly female co-worker say this morning. FML

by mercumorr / 09/17/2016 at 8:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML

by littlekellilee / 09/16/2016 at 12:27am / Canada / Health

Today, my stupid coworker informed the managers that there were no more kids' menus downstairs. Trusting her word, they ordered 3 full boxes. She then asked me where we kept them. We now have 12,000 kids menus to fold. FML

by Lissa / 09/13/2016 at 8:00pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML

by 4fingerdiscount / 09/13/2016 at 7:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML

by subtweetqueen / 09/09/2016 at 12:18am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of a bra he claimed I left at his house. I know every single bra I own, and it wasn't one of them, or so I thought. Only after I broke up with him did I remember I lost that bra two months ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2016 at 11:31am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my mother and I were watching a movie. She got up to go to bed, and I blurted out, "Please don't leave me." Her response: "You really need a boyfriend." FML

by shrek / 08/29/2016 at 6:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I found out my father's girlfriend is moving in with us. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. FML

by MissMoonpie / 08/27/2016 at 8:21am / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML

by logansowow / 08/24/2016 at 8:37pm / Love

Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML

by StupidPets / 08/23/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I received a letter telling me I'm not qualified for a job I've been unofficially doing for the last three years. It's the fourth letter I've gotten since applying. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have to train the new person who got the job instead of me. FML

by contracted / 08/22/2016 at 1:49am / United States (California) / Work

Today, at work I did inventory with my boss. He did the top shelves and I did the bottom ones. By the end, my knees were dirty and sore. I went home and my roommate asked me how my day went. I absent-mindedly said, "My boss had me on my knees all day." He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

Today, I finally addressed why my boyfriend started calling me "love bug" since we haven't used pet names in the entirety of our 2 year relationship. His response? "because I love you but you bug the shit out of me. It seemed appropriate." FML

by Jaided_Genetics / 08/17/2016 at 12:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend came home from a trip early without telling me. When I got to his house and saw his car there, I texted him and said, "Oh you asshole". About five minutes later, I got a text from my boss asking if that text was for him. FML

by DuckyDew / 08/16/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I asked out this girl at work who I've had a crush on for a while. She looked oddly familiar, aside from the fact that we worked together. It was almost like we'd met outside of work. Two hours and one Snapchat story later, I realized I'd asked out my best friend's girlfriend. FML

by okaythen / 08/14/2016 at 3:21pm / United States (Texas) / Love