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owlishes

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owlishes

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 460
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - 8 hours ago<b>michaelaranda</b> - yesterday at 4:13am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:15pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:31am<b>Beccag7</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:18pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:37pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:50pm<b>decimater</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:23pm<b>zebrainthenight</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:45pm<b>JonD63</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:37am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:46pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:08pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:27am<b>kitcatjb</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:46am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:52pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:10pm<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 6:22am

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owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18985) - you deserved it (7512)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (2870)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

#21379759
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm - kids - by Mary C. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31873) - you deserved it (9296)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29606) - you deserved it (2132)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (2625)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34724) - you deserved it (2011)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (3994)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (8230)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (3449)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41470) - you deserved it (3790)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (6467)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36436) - you deserved it (2427)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)



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