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owlishes

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owlishes

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 611
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>slick5880</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:49pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:26am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:43am<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:37am<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:08pm<b>angiemarie96</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:30pm<b>missmoschner</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:09am<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:14pm<b>BlueScales</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:13pm<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:28pm<b>dragonkisses28</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:02am<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Sneado</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:12pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:21am<b>pooldude</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:45am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:54pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:22pm

Fucked!<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:08pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:54am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:22am<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:08pm

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owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (3666)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31450) - you deserved it (4193)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (2381)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

#21432298
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (2462)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Good Parenting? - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

#21423823
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (1771)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:00am - misc - by Spa Catholic - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26910) - you deserved it (4329)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

#21420192
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25168) - you deserved it (5102)

On 06/03/2015 at 11:46am - health - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (6245)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (2395)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21701) - you deserved it (10493)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (2213)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (7089)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML



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