owlishes

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owlishes

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1177
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>Gremlinswife</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:03am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:48pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 6:19pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 1:06am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:07pm<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:21pm<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 2:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>HoboMeth</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Kcoate1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:51am<b>betweenwinds</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:14pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:54am<b>DerpAngel</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:37pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:49pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:26am<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:37am<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:08pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:44am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:54pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:08pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:54am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:22am<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:08pm

owlishes's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of owlishes's badges

owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with intense pain and bruising. It turned out I'd suffered such a rare kind of wrist bone dislocation that the doctors aren't sure how to fix it. FML

by chazzywazzy654 / 05/27/2016 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my two year old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML

by proud parent / 05/21/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML

by rummaging / 05/18/2016 at 9:46am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2016 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

by emancipate me / 05/15/2016 at 3:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML

by Nighty-nitrogen / 05/09/2016 at 8:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML

by hungry hungry harvey / 05/08/2016 at 12:56pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to calm down an angry customer who claimed one of my employees had "traumatized" her dog. Apparently her dog is really OCD and my employee didn't line up the dog bed at the right angle. She threatened to report us to the BBB. How do these morons even exist? FML

by dumbfounded / 05/08/2016 at 8:14am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my wife wanted to have a threesome. During our honeymoon. With the maid of honor. I didn't sign up for this. FML

by JustMarried / 05/07/2016 at 5:47pm / Ukraine / Intimacy

Today, I went on a second date with a guy who seemed perfect in every way possible. That is until he started mentioned how children are a deal-breaker for him. I had to break it to him that I have a 14 month old daughter. He actually had the balls to ask if I'd ever consider foster care. Seriously, dude? FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2016 at 1:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I got my graded essay from my teacher. Earlier, he'd said that it was "too specific", and that I should change it to be "more general and debatable". Now that I've got it back, the first comments on the paper are, "Your thesis is too general, be more specific." FML

by Super Confused / 05/02/2016 at 7:59pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had to deal with a snobby rich woman who asked me to cure her daughter's "unhealthy obsession" with playing outside instead of watching TV with the rest of the family. She called me a liar when I said playing outside is a normal thing for a 6 year-old child to do. FML

by anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 1:59pm / United States / Work

Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my room mate has been dating is my mom. FML

by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous