Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

owlishes

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

owlishes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 488
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>LoganGillease</b> - yesterday at 6:41pm<b>int15</b> - yesterday at 4:19pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:07pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:13am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:15pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:31am<b>Beccag7</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:18pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:37pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:50pm<b>decimater</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:23pm<b>zebrainthenight</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:45pm<b>JonD63</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:37am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:46pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:08pm

owlishes's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of owlishes's badges

owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (2156)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18942) - you deserved it (15353)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

#21387594
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (3617)

On 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by gooddaydude (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (5438)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

#21386936
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31871) - you deserved it (3384)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:41am - health - by Ravhi Karia - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26227) - you deserved it (5197)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26277) - you deserved it (2283)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (15813)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (8732)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (3121)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML

#21379759
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (3047)

On 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm - kids - by Mary C. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

#21374736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (407) - you deserved it (10322)

On 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

#21372790
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (2141)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:50pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a new haircut. I was feeling pretty confident, until coworkers and family members kept making comments like, "I think you gained a little weight", "You look older" and "Do you still like guys?" Apparently, my new haircut changed my waist size and my sexual orientation. FML

#21371884
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27562) - you deserved it (2635)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:47pm - misc - by Lovemynewhaircut (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: