owlishes

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owlishes

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1283
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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owlishes's page activity

Visits<b>Gremlinswife</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:03am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:48pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 6:19pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 1:06am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:07pm<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:21pm<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:08am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 2:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:44pm<b>HoboMeth</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Kcoate1</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:51am<b>betweenwinds</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:14pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:54am<b>DerpAngel</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:37pm<b>slick5880</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:49pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:26am<b>vikky538</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 8:37am<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:08pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:23am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:44am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:54pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:08pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:12pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:54am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:22am<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:08pm

owlishes's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of owlishes's badges

owlishes's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

by ReineXre / 06/14/2016 at 8:00pm / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my oldest friends blocked me for refusing to drive her to and from a wedding that was over 30 miles away. The wedding was mine. FML

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I came home to find out my stay-at-home neighbor built his kids an awesome treehouse deck two stories up in the air. Three feet from my house. Directly adjacent to my second-floor bedroom. FML

by Jo_kat / 06/08/2016 at 11:56pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after finally applying myself and busting my butt all semester, I found out the school is accusing me of cheating because they couldn't believe I could have gotten near-perfect grades considering my grade history. If this is how society rewards academic turnarounds, why do I even bother? FML

by CantWin / 06/07/2016 at 6:38pm / United States (Utah) / Geek

Today, I set my phone down at work in the back while I helped a customer. When I came back it was gone. It took me twenty minutes to find, duct taped to the ceiling. FML

by oh no / 06/06/2016 at 11:45am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

by Fido / 06/06/2016 at 7:58am / United States / Kids

Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML

by larsn / 06/03/2016 at 4:32pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

by Daddy / 06/02/2016 at 4:04am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with intense pain and bruising. It turned out I'd suffered such a rare kind of wrist bone dislocation that the doctors aren't sure how to fix it. FML

by chazzywazzy654 / 05/27/2016 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my two year old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML

by proud parent / 05/21/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML

by rummaging / 05/18/2016 at 9:46am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2016 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

by emancipate me / 05/15/2016 at 3:59pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous