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outoftown

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outoftown
  • Town/Country : Elsewhere, US
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2674
  • Number of comments : 1546
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

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outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46060) - you deserved it (4927)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47284) - you deserved it (4298)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (4160)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49421) - you deserved it (6101)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42427) - you deserved it (4399)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35853) - you deserved it (11636)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48071) - you deserved it (3502)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

#21013669
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41549) - you deserved it (5823)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

#21012912
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35266) - you deserved it (7807)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (5641)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38471) - you deserved it (3375)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

#21010039
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41906) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:57am - health - by candidcripple (man) - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37375) - you deserved it (3443)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35003) - you deserved it (2823)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33585) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)



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