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Offline (the 05/07/2016 at 4:55am)

outoftown

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10369
  • Number of comments : 1581
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About outoftown : Yes, I'm a newbie.
Update: Now, not so new.
Update: I came, I lurked, I did a little commenting. I like it here!

outoftown's page activity

Visits<b>MossyMegaMan</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 1:39am<b>oh2hell</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 8:18am<b>lost7702</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:14pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:24pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:36pm<b>NYM88</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 6:32am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:31pm<b>k_cummins</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 3:34am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 4:06pm<b>Thepicheese</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:29am<b>raven83</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:45pm<b>PVXCRunner15</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:15pm<b>winchester818</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>idefka</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:08am<b>yank3321</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 9:45pm<b>Dman1791</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:03am<b>Doberman101</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 12:43am

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:39am<b>Blackadder</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 12:05pm

outoftown's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of outoftown's badges

outoftown's favorite FMLs

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

by Lindsey / 05/24/2014 at 11:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

by LyraAlluse / 05/18/2014 at 7:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my two year old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

by WolfieJL / 05/18/2014 at 3:51am / United States / Kids

Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML

by monkey2069 / 05/13/2014 at 9:58am / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

by mlowy / 05/09/2014 at 1:35am / Azerbaijan (Baki) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML

by mousiepie / 05/02/2014 at 5:36am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after an entire year spent in physical therapy recovering from three knee surgeries, I finally returned to doing light agility exercises and running on a treadmill. When I told my therapist I had never been so happy and proud, he responded with, "This usually only takes 5 months, pussy." FML

by AnonymousAndSad / 04/24/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Health

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

by now have a cat / 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals