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ottokat
  • Town/Country : Chicago but I ain't no damn Bears fan, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 210
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ottokat : I live in Chicago, IL and I've got two huge dogs. It lies when it says I've never submitted FMLs. It speaks the truth when it says 0 published. My profile image used to be of Obama with a violin: Baroque Obama. Heh heh heh. I love lions, the color green and unusual pens. I have a very special person in my life right now. They are everything I look for in a partner, and more. Their name is ottokat here on FML. If you see them, like their comments.Follow me on Tumblr if you're SuperWhoLock/Harry Potter oriented."castielmyspell"

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ottokat's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ottokat's favorite FMLs

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (3934)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44556) - you deserved it (7567)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49553) - you deserved it (3796)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (6352)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54510) - you deserved it (5855)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18826) - you deserved it (1480)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

#14486869
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6532) - you deserved it (37026)

On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

#8796433
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2874)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:09am - health - by icegirl (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)



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