ositoakaluis

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Offline (the 03/04/2015 at 5:32am)

ositoakaluis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 597
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ositoakaluis : Virgins are rare in this day that makes them special like unicorns but I'm not a unicorn I'm a Pegasus!!!

ositoakaluis's page activity

Visits<b>teenagedropout</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 3:02pm<b>purelymixed</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:41pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:58am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:19pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:19pm<b>xXxStar</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:13pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:39pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:51pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:02pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:41pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:04am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:21am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:36am<b>GamerOs946</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:08am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:39am<b>Googolman</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:25pm<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 5:27pm<b>lilviking</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:11pm

ositoakaluis's FML badges

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50 quality responses

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ositoakaluis's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

by faitesdesgosses / 05/19/2014 at 10:27am / Kids

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

by dating a pussy / 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous