About ositoakaluis : Virgins are rare in this day that makes them special like unicorns but I'm not a unicorn I'm a Pegasus!!!
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ositoakaluis's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health
Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML
by dating a pussy / 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML
by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love
by heallven / 01/31/2013 at 7:26am / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first… Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could… Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't…
- Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…