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orbester

Offline (the 08/13/2015 at 5:08am) | Search for a member

orbester

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 344
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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orbester's page activity

Visits<b>younggirl101</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 2:04am<b>hox83</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 6:55pm<b>cassis321</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 8:59am<b>skr1020</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 8:44pm

orbester's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of orbester's badges

orbester's favorite FMLs

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (32954)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14662) - you deserved it (35969)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34112) - you deserved it (3758)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47087) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41095) - you deserved it (4586)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52568) - you deserved it (8669)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62835) - you deserved it (4864)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50105) - you deserved it (4778)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

#21151747
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46354) - you deserved it (5616)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anothermoose - United States (California)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49034) - you deserved it (6356)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (18120)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, the feedback my teacher wrote on my English assignment was so horrible that it took me half an hour and help from both my parents to decipher it. It turned out to be a scathing criticism of my "poor communication skills". I hate my teachers. FML

#21096093
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36792) - you deserved it (3583)

On 03/25/2014 at 2:42pm - misc - by fluent in two, unlike you (man) - Mexico



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