oracle96

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Offline (the 11/21/2016 at 4:03pm)

oracle96

6Fucked!

oracle96oracle96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 709
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About oracle96 : I ride a motorcycle
I have two huskies
I have an amazing girlfriend
And I'm about to start college. What else is needed to know about me. But whatever if you come up with a question just ask :DD other than that I am just another fml browser here don't mind me and my nerdy self.

oracle96's page activity

Visits<b>exergency</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 6:34am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 8:25pm<b>tim374</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 2:36pm<b>Blazzee</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 8:55pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 11:12pm<b>itsuniversal</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 5:05pm<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 12:42am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 12:02pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 10:29am<b>CaitOlivia94</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 10:14pm<b>2simz</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 6:44pm<b>Nickimariek</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 8:06am<b>blob112</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 3:31am<b>ChickenLady3</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 11:33pm<b>dirknic</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 4:13pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 12:22pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:20pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:41pm

Fucked!<b>dirknic</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 10:13pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 1:20am<b>alfie0214</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 7:09am<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:52am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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oracle96's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

by amused / 06/23/2014 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

by gassymomma / 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

by emmaavk88 / 03/17/2014 at 8:15am / United Arab Emirates / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

by JustClaire95 / 03/17/2014 at 7:58am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 11:33am / United States / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

by tayymeds / 03/12/2014 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

by seth7_ / 01/18/2014 at 2:14am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.