oops993

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oops993

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 599
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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oops993's page activity

Visits<b>Daevas</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:54pm<b>kAPISH</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 6:41am<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:50am<b>kumarina</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 1:53am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>jgwyh</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:04pm<b>lonkite101</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 1:30pm<b>FuckYouScience12</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 11:02pm<b>vixen_me</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 3:05am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 1:47am<b>A07</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 7:14pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 1:51am<b>pistolpete31000</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 10:46pm

oops993's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of oops993's badges

oops993's favorite FMLs

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

by melmel / 05/05/2014 at 1:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

by pleasestop / 04/30/2014 at 10:13pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

by systematicpanic / 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

by xtinasky1 / 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

by Biologyfacepalm / 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm / United States / Work

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

by Ms. Piggy / 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

by [...] / 12/12/2013 at 9:28am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

by Parentalfailure / 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

by davav74 / 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

by addicted2v / 01/21/2012 at 8:25am / United States (New York) / Love