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oomph

25Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1197
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oomph : Don't hit on me please.
I just come on here to read FML posts and the comments that follow.
I love cats, I love every kind of cat. I just wanna hug all of them but I can't hug every cat.

oomph's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - 4 hours ago<b>XxFearedxX</b> - 9 hours ago<b>four0seven</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Dreadkong88</b> - yesterday at 11:37pm<b>NoWayItsReal</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:30pm<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 12:58pm<b>m1i2c3h4a5e6l7</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 4:15pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:56am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 7:11pm<b>Moopster</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:55pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:39pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 4:13pm<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 4:58am<b>X_Gon_Giv_ItToYa</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 10:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:01pm<b>amayraniescobar</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:14pm<b>fariss</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 3:09am<b>TheyKilledKemmy</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 10:16pm

Fucked!<b>OlRed</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:58pm<b>m1i2c3h4a5e6l7</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 10:15pm<b>X_Gon_Giv_ItToYa</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:34am<b>NoWayItsReal</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 9:11pm<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:55pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:45pm<b>delichick</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:06pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 10:33pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 6:15pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:22pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:10pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 8:41am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:08am<b>AnonTurtle</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 9:36pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 8:24pm<b>heyalmao</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 4:55am<b>psmith78332</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 3:47pm<b>mjd13666</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 5:01pm

oomph's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of oomph's badges

oomph's favorite FMLs

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 6:36am / Ukraine (Poltavs'ka Oblast') / Intimacy

Today, I got lost in Darkfall Passage in Skyrim and got so frustrated I turned off the game and cried. Thank you pregnancy hormones. FML

by SkyrimGamerMoM / 07/14/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML

by samaris / 07/08/2016 at 5:19pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because I look like his favorite hentai character. FML

by titmeister / 06/28/2016 at 12:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I lost my virginity. It was painful, but not as painful as my boyfriend asking afterwards: "Um... did you use to be a guy?" FML

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, we ran out of our disposal gloves at work. After saying how grossed out I was about having to touch raw chicken with my bare hands, my female boss goes, "Just imagine you're touching yourself. That's what I do." Even more grossed out now. FML

by RayniDae / 06/15/2016 at 4:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

by Emmaraine189 / 04/27/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

by Emmaraine189 / 04/27/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my aunt's last words to me were, "Don't be an idiot". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2016 at 8:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML

by oh / 02/22/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy