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oomph

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oomph

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oomph : Don't hit on me faggots this isn't a dating networking site.

I just come on here to read FML posts when I'm super bored.

oomph's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:18pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:06pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:57pm<b>divinorum11</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 8:13pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 11:34pm<b>clkoko</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 5:51am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 7:25am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:55am<b>A07</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:49am<b>Beyto7000</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 2:22am<b>843dude</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:42am<b>ImNotAnAlien</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 10:00pm<b>mccrightp</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 4:38pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 3:54am<b>moron011</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:49pm<b>jaysinlove</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:08pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:13am

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:25pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:22am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:37am

oomph's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of oomph's badges

oomph's favorite FMLs

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

#21523085
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15863) - you deserved it (4389)

On 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19885) - you deserved it (3026)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

#21514123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21475) - you deserved it (6174)

On 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm - misc - by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

#21497342
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (1928)

On 11/27/2015 at 1:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous - France (Corse)

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

#21475435
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22612) - you deserved it (6355)

On 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm - intimacy - by sad-boing (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

#21472718
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (2007)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

#21465748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (2175)

On 09/07/2015 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by annonymous (man) - United States

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

#21452283
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by TheIVkindaruinsthemood (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

#21450074
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (2631)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (2669)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

#21438785
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (2224)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm - misc - by ZiggyTink - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42418) - you deserved it (5178)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (4929)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany



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