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oomph

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

oomph

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 641
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About oomph : don't hit on me faggots this isn't a dating networking site.

I just come on here to read FML posts when I'm super bored.

I'm a gnarly bitch

oomph's page activity

Visits<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:08am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:40am<b>Radgears47</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:15pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:37am<b>jerryj</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:16am<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:06pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 9:27am<b>cactusprick</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 12:50am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:31pm<b>decimater</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 9:11pm<b>sorahearts</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 7:41pm<b>MissQ</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:10am<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 12:20am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:00am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:41am

Fucked!<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 4:22am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:37am

oomph's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of oomph's badges

oomph's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (4166)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (4508)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (1761)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (8606)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (1713)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12668) - you deserved it (43399)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (2847)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35757) - you deserved it (3706)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29916) - you deserved it (13170)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (3685)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41641) - you deserved it (3920)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48494) - you deserved it (17899)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (3994)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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