onlyme25

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Offline (the 04/20/2016 at 2:17am)

onlyme25

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 March 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 979
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About onlyme25 : "The truth is,you could slit my throat,and with my one last gasping breath, I would apologize for bleeding on your shirt."

"If you take my toy away, will you take it's place?"

onlyme25's page activity

Visits<b>Sia_Will</b> - 13 hours ago<b>JoeKito</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 1:41am<b>walid820014</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 4:46am<b>COMMAND3R_K3V</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 12:18am<b>Sludge3</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 1:28pm<b>kquals</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 12:35am<b>tonyfan00</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 1:10pm<b>pradip</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 8:15am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 9:15am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 7:59am<b>boostedc</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 6:00am<b>angelnursery</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:58am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:20pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:36pm<b>C7</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:10pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:31am<b>zobara</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:00pm<b>sarika</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:00am

Fucked!<b>boultzboi</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:36am<b>tabbycat2007</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:21am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:56am<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:03pm

onlyme25's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of onlyme25's badges

onlyme25's favorite FMLs

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

by DocBastard, meet DocCunt / 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

by Never Work With Animals or Children / 05/26/2012 at 7:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

by Eragons_Mommy92 / 05/04/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

by Aus / 04/26/2012 at 10:43am / United States / Love

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2012 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

by oface13 / 04/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

by jesifairy / 04/13/2012 at 12:46am / Australia / Love

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health