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onlyme25

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onlyme25

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 874
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About onlyme25 : "The truth is,you could slit my throat,and with my one last gasping breath, I would apologize for bleeding on your shirt."

"If you take my toy away, will you take it's place?"

onlyme25's page activity

Visits<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:20pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:36pm<b>C7</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:10pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 8:31am<b>zobara</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:00pm<b>sarika</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:00am<b>tigersman1c</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>calypso1212</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 6:03pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:04pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:14pm<b>LexiD19</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 2:58pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 9:55pm<b>emmavines</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:15pm<b>spicyburrito</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:59pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:40pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:25pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Kyrie646</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 2:58am

Fucked!<b>boultzboi</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:36am<b>tabbycat2007</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:21am<b>seetei</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:56am<b>bananassin</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:03pm

onlyme25's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of onlyme25's badges

onlyme25's favorite FMLs

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41412) - you deserved it (3367)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28771) - you deserved it (7261)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19534) - you deserved it (46162)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23516) - you deserved it (2459)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62499) - you deserved it (3472)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
272 comments

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

#19531707
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (4006)

On 04/26/2012 at 10:43am - love - by Aus (woman) - United States

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (5403)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51950) - you deserved it (5653)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (6914)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (2144)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (8254)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33264) - you deserved it (10066)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

#19121562
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33337) - you deserved it (6323)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)



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