Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

onlychildFTW

Online | Search for a member

onlychildFTW

23Fucked!

onlychildFTWonlychildFTW
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4282
  • Number of comments : 1911
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About onlychildFTW : I'm not a grammar nazi. I'm also not a fan of having my grammar corrected on here. If you get my drift. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Life is like a rock, it changes through its lifetime until it gets eroded to nothing. Like when we die and rot in the ground.

The first picture has a 2009 Bugatti Veyron 16.4 with a 2008 Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren next to it. The second picture, look for yourself. ;) Third picture? I don't know, you tell me.

onlychildFTW's page activity

Visits<b>Zerizle</b> - yesterday at 1:46pm<b>QQMorePlox</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:52am<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:40am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 12:50am<b>brenna153</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:54pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:53am<b>itz_miamore</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:37am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 8:13am<b>Vexatious</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:55am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:45pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:14pm<b>jennlody</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 3:43am<b>RyRoz</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:05pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:16am<b>rpitre99</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:52am

Fucked!<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:50am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:53pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:14am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:18pm<b>rpitre99</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:52am<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:40am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:15am<b>Standupmast3r</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:33am<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:50am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:16pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:37am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:03pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:01am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:02am<b>mateo2277</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:42am<b>WarriorOmen</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:33am

onlychildFTW's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of onlychildFTW's badges

onlychildFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

#21430061
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25453) - you deserved it (1897)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I'm actually starting to miss my former heroin addict neighbor because of how mellow he was compared to my new neighbors. FML

#21427797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25954) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:07pm - money - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML

#21426185
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (6029)

On 06/14/2015 at 10:40pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

#21424599
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you deserved it (2468)

On 06/11/2015 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (1830)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

#21423486
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (1609)

On 06/09/2015 at 6:30pm - misc - by I-love-my-tea - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

#21421959
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25086) - you deserved it (2229)

On 06/06/2015 at 9:17pm - kids - by diapersplease (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32180) - you deserved it (2968)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my rental car had an automatic rear hatch. That sounded helpful until I used it and it emptied $60 in just-purchased groceries for the week on the parking lot pavement. The jars and jugs weren't ready for the leap. FML

#21408338
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/11/2015 at 10:37am - money - by technodont - United States

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you deserved it (35749)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (3312)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (3427)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (3161)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: