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Offline (the 11/23/2016 at 10:50am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7156
  • Number of comments : 2002
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About onlychildFTW : I'm not a grammar nazi. I'm also not a fan of having my grammar corrected on here. If you get my drift. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Life is like a rock, it changes through its lifetime until it gets eroded to nothing. Like when we die and rot in the ground.

The first picture has a 2009 Bugatti Veyron 16.4 with a 2008 Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren next to it. The second picture, look for yourself. ;) Third picture? I don't know, you tell me.

Anybody is free to message me I'll always reply.

onlychildFTW's page activity

Visits<b>MrEldritch</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 12:42am<b>Ultimate_Batman</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 11:11am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 4:10am<b>Artures_way1</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:03pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 11:55pm<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 3:57pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 12:43am<b>DrChrisOfWumbo</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 10:24am<b>BanjoCheeseGuy</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:49pm<b>Skoff</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 3:53am<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 10:40pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:58pm<b>yergenferfer</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 1:51pm<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 8:41am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 3:46pm<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:59pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:47pm<b>XxPojoxX</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 8:38pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 9:40pm<b>epicgamer</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:14am<b>youdontsay123456</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 5:54am<b>YDI17</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 1:40am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 2:18pm<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:44am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 4:41pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 4:57am<b>Ultimate_Batman</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:10am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:43am<b>ThatWeirdough</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:43pm<b>tooearlyforBS</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 9:50pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 2:07pm<b>Fmelikeuhateme</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 5:27pm<b>DMA0712</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:18am<b>trevorr_16</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 7:39am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:38am

onlychildFTW's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of onlychildFTW's badges

onlychildFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog that had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

by notapetkiller / 07/26/2016 at 2:12am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I have a Bachelors of Science at a top university and got denied by Chipotle for a part-time job. FML

Today, I thought my car was overheating. I then thought it was wise to put my hand close to my muffler to feel the heat. Needless to say, I stuck my entire hand on my muffler then had to drive around with the only cold thing in my car. A cold beer from my cooler. Yes, I got pulled over. FML

by leaannec30 / 07/10/2016 at 2:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was told that I was no longer being considered for the Prison Officer job I have been interviewed for, because a social media check showed I had liked a picture of drugs, so my character is inappropriate. I thought it was a picture of candy. I've never even tried weed. FML

by TooInnocent / 07/07/2016 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Work

Today, I washed my boyfriend's work clothes, trying to make up for a fight we had earlier. After taking them out, I found his phone, wallet and keys at the bottom of the washer, completly waterlogged. This is not the peace offering I'd hoped for. FML

by bigbagofnope / 06/17/2016 at 4:17pm / United Kingdom / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé and I are house-sitting for my future in-laws for the next 3 weeks. They left a bible in both bedrooms, along with printouts of an article denouncing the "sin" of premarital sex. They're such complete whack-jobs, I wouldn't be surprised if they've set up hidden cameras everywhere too. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2016 at 8:06am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML

by ideserveit / 05/28/2016 at 6:10pm / Finland / Love

Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML

by justpeachy1989 / 05/26/2016 at 10:06am / Australia / Animals

Today, as a Uber driver, a passenger requested a ride at 5:30 a.m. so he could go a half block to the McDonald's drive thru and back. FML

by aviationgeek / 05/18/2016 at 2:18pm / United States (Washington) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got my grades back. I got a very poor evaluation for my lit class, which was odd because it didn't match the impression from my end-of-class meeting with the professor. It does, however, include a nod to the supposedly-anonymous negative class review I gave her, though. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

by Emmaraine189 / 04/27/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

by TooQuick / 04/27/2016 at 8:19am / Mozambique (Maputo) / Work

Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML

by dk_2k16 / 04/12/2016 at 4:29pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work

Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML

by piss off / 04/08/2016 at 6:05pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love