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oneforceone's favorite FMLs
by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
by jenA / 08/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I came home to find that the entire ceiling in the kitchen of my apartment had caved in due to an extremely leaky water pipe. The same water pipe maintenance said they had fixed three days ago. FML
by ByronJess / 08/21/2012 at 4:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
by Jessica / 08/21/2012 at 4:21am / United States / Kids
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health
Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 6:16pm / Canada / Work
Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
by fuckoffandfuckoffagainyoucunt / 08/17/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous
by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by cardsftw / 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML
by larSON5 / 08/15/2012 at 12:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
by WELLFUCKYOUTOO / 08/14/2012 at 11:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML
by BirthdayFail / 08/14/2012 at 3:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…