omgpp

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Offline (the 01/04/2015 at 10:59pm)

omgpp

1Fucked!

omgppomgpp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 December 1945 (70 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 688
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About omgpp : I am me. Nice to meet you! I live in my house. on earth. In America. I am over a decade old. kittens

omgpp's page activity

Visits<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Liam_S</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 4:36am<b>thatgirlinoregon</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 4:11am<b>SOSMasterJOJ</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 12:48am<b>kaet</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:19pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:36am<b>w_pony_4ever</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:44pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 3:38pm<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 11:09am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 12:34pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:25pm<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:40am<b>123amanda123</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 3:25pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:20pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 3:40pm

Fucked!<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:41am

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omgpp's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

by kids say the darnedest things / 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

by akaka / 07/14/2014 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

by boob sisters / 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

by PityKitty / 12/24/2013 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

by windshitwipers / 05/30/2013 at 5:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! / 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

by deli Shoppe / 06/27/2012 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

by Jordan / 04/08/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love