About omgitsseejay : i am filipino.
so stop looking at me like a math problem.
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About omgitsseejay : i am filipino.
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omgitsseejay's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/26/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Rhode Island) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 9:32am / Singapore / Kids
Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML
by loli-conned / 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids
Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML
by Bes / 06/14/2009 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML
by TSampson / 06/11/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML
by Ryuga / 06/10/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML
by Sylvania / 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML
by Anonymous / 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by TeeJay / 06/01/2009 at 10:06am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML
by willieboom / 05/30/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Jazzyfayyye / 05/29/2009 at 1:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
by alexis89 / 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She… Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back,… Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent…