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ombrown

Offline (the 08/01/2015 at 9:18pm) | Search for a member

ombrown

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 742
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ombrown's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25506) - you deserved it (1878)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

#21447183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (2224)

On 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm - love - by Lucachoo - United States (California)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (2216)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (2473)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (7294)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (1463)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (11061)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25246) - you deserved it (2537)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (2076)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (3777)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by mirandale (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

#21434782
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27418) - you deserved it (2271)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (3361)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)



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