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olypicgold

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olypicgold
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6363
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77284) - you deserved it (12970)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

#16023
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (1694)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

#16023
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (1694)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

#16023
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (1694)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9143) - you deserved it (34462)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

#1468
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7816) - you deserved it (31401)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

#1434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5213) - you deserved it (44536)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:15am - love - by FailMan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

#1399
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8187) - you deserved it (37336)

On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10685) - you deserved it (31854)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (1971)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (1086)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized I spend way too much time on the computer. I grabbed the menu at the restaurant, glanced at the page, and tried to do CTRL+F to find seafood. Geek coming through! FML

#1196
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5411) - you deserved it (20308)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:14am - love - by Hth - United States (Delaware)

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

#1108
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you deserved it (3455)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28002) - you deserved it (7538)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)



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