Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

olpally

221Fucked!

olpallyolpally
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 34333
  • Number of comments : 3467
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : Off

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>ExpectNeo</b> - yesterday at 11:01pm<b>LauraAnn33</b> - yesterday at 10:42pm<b>macorncob</b> - yesterday at 8:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 8:28pm<b>makkarari</b> - yesterday at 8:03pm<b>sweetsammiedee</b> - yesterday at 4:37pm<b>33kameron33</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:53pm<b>pokedexg</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:13pm<b>Brighton_Cruz</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 1:25pm<b>paxtoncat</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:23pm<b>lovecottoncandy</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:57pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 7:11pm<b>Xhase</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:57am<b>prout92340</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:13pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:14pm<b>llamadramas</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 1:44am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:21pm<b>LJB93</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:44pm

Fucked!<b>Brighton_Cruz</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:25pm<b>katrinakalnikov</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Sonata90</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 8:12am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 5:22pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:39pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 5:29am<b>LauraAnn33</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 2:59am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:39pm<b>cheeology</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 6:26pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:57pm<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:11am<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 9:28am<b>CzaneWinters</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:09pm<b>muhshizzld</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 7:44pm<b>okayyy01</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:21am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:05am<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:51am

olpally's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (3621)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend turned down a job that would have more than doubled his income because he didn't want to upset his current boss by quitting. FML

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

#21112284
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35481) - you deserved it (11710)

On 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm - misc - by ohmygod582 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51152) - you deserved it (5711)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43263) - you deserved it (3316)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (5800)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48961) - you deserved it (3369)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74368) - you deserved it (7171)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59765) - you deserved it (7654)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42146) - you deserved it (2893)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (5578)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44826) - you deserved it (19091)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47015) - you deserved it (5096)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48084) - you deserved it (4102)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: