Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

olpally

60Liked!

olpallyolpally
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21943
  • Number of comments : 3234
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : I can't say too much so I won't.
Unfucking believable. I have the worst luck ever. Fuck this shit, I give up.
Kik: olpally. Don't be creepy.
Hate my damn life. Ugh.
I'm an emoji whore. 😍😘😜😄😋😈🙊😆😇😏 message me if you wish. I'll always respond! 😇😈

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>demonddm</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Akazuki</b> - 23 hours ago<b>demi94</b> - yesterday at 6:13am<b>jordaandanielle</b> - yesterday at 10:26pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:56pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 1:21am<b>MissyPastaCreeps</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 11:36pm<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 10:50pm<b>lilflowjo</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:09pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:40pm<b>CrimsonViolets</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 9:39am<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:22am<b>zingline89</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:22am<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:44am<b>Brittin8or</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 12:53am<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:27pm<b>jlnotary</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:47pm<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:36pm

Liked!<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:40pm<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:43am<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:28am<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:50am<b>Purple_Orgasms</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:21pm<b>lilflowjo</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:51am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:00am<b>keely617</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:57am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:43pm<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:35pm<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:06am<b>Wabbajack789</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:31pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:16am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:59am<b>clrichmond2009</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:45am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:48am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 12:00am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:45am

olpally's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (9553)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

#19331009
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17343) - you deserved it (4626)

On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

#19320303
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (2069)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

#19313948
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25110) - you deserved it (2404)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by Niles (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

#19313557
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (2361)

On 03/20/2012 at 11:37am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML

#19307115
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (43703)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (11917)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (2514)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had a mild epileptic seizure. My mom's immediate reaction was not to comfort me or call for help, but to freak out over the fact that I'd spilled my glass of milk over the floor. FML

#19270777
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26121) - you deserved it (1706)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

#19236548
96 comments

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML

#19232651
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27666) - you deserved it (7134)

On 03/07/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by RZ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML

#19227628
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7407) - you deserved it (31562)

On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (1760)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (45116)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: