Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

olpally

Online | Search for a member

olpally

130Fucked!

olpallyolpally
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 May 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 28816
  • Number of comments : 3306
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About olpally : Follow me on Twitter @OlPally86
Message me if you want. I'm back. Huge Blackhawks super fan. 2015 Stanley cup champions!!! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨lets talk hockey! Or anything in general. Love emojis 😘😍😜😁🙊😄Kik- olpally

olpally's page activity

Visits<b>nohardfeelings</b> - 2 hours ago<b>dubb420</b> - 24 hours ago<b>jayennachristine</b> - yesterday at 4:48pm<b>symbioticdeath</b> - yesterday at 2:35pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:41am<b>Phylo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:40pm<b>CliffPaul</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:36pm<b>sethu16</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:09pm<b>pedramUchiha</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:11pm<b>maxyutd1</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:03pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:34pm<b>DamnedSpitfire</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:16am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:50am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:29am<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:30pm<b>cloes</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:30pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:48pm<b>baby_gurl_19</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:07pm

Fucked!<b>insanecutie</b> - yesterday at 7:41am<b>jayennachristine</b> - yesterday at 3:12am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:30am<b>cloes</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:31pm<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:25pm<b>guss5441</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:31am<b>_Breezie_</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:31pm<b>sorainu</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:50pm<b>open_secrets</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:27am<b>rachelv93</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:23am<b>nwhitebread</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:04am<b>Hyenayena</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:44am<b>_ExcitedPotato_</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:31pm<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:11am<b>funneh1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 5:12am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>besosforme</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:12pm<b>mercedesm</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:16am

olpally's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of olpally's badges

olpally's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64065) - you deserved it (9321)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML

#21157939
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44360) - you deserved it (3853)

On 05/31/2014 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49333) - you deserved it (5880)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48929) - you deserved it (5621)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49300) - you deserved it (9655)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

#21151208
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (6376)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:46pm - love - by aww, such a nice guy. NOT (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

#21151195
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43574) - you deserved it (7094)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm - health - by 5p4571k (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49963) - you deserved it (7534)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

#21150425
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46003) - you deserved it (3829)

On 05/24/2014 at 5:20pm - misc - by NaCl - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

#21150097
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39946) - you deserved it (19458)

On 05/24/2014 at 11:22am - misc - by Lindsey (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35599) - you deserved it (55535)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40855) - you deserved it (9664)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (56570)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (67653)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

#21135494
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37696) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: