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oj101

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oj101
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3266
  • Number of comments : 830
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About oj101 : Orange Juice

oj101's last visitors

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oj101's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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oj101's favorite FMLs

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

#17725574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (2256)

On 09/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by silent one - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18195) - you deserved it (44713)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML

#16278743
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (6633)

On 05/21/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16065) - you deserved it (71517)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I brought my own thermos of coffee on the train with me, the kind that flips open to uncover the mouth part. I take a few swigs and notice a cute boy nervously smiling at me. Suddenly, I feel something drip down my nose. The flip part was leaving drops of coffee all over my forehead. FML

#15689448
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16320) - you deserved it (4322)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
590 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48045) - you deserved it (5152)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70068) - you deserved it (5707)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (7293)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, we ordered pizza. A long wait and several phone calls later, we found out that someone met the delivery person at the end of our driveway, signed our receipt, and stole our pizza. Way to check the credit card pizza people. FML

#14690774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (2256)

On 01/23/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by deepblue (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

#14382605
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:32pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot - United States

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (9790)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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