ohrlynow

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Offline (the 06/01/2015 at 10:57am)

ohrlynow

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3489
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ohrlynow's page activity

Visits<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 6:06pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:00am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:49am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:38am<b>icyconix</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:05pm<b>beffernyy</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:39am<b>mxr7484</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:01am<b>XxWolfQueen</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:43am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:58pm<b>gishbish</b> - the 05/20/2011 at 10:32pm<b>drkphntm1</b> - the 05/16/2011 at 12:27pm<b>Vietmanx</b> - the 05/02/2011 at 1:04am<b>nato556</b> - the 03/28/2011 at 12:17am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 03/23/2011 at 9:27am<b>rallets</b> - the 03/11/2011 at 4:27pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 10:53pm<b>RealChinese</b> - the 03/08/2011 at 4:44pm

Fucked!<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:21pm

ohrlynow's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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ohrlynow's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

by SF49 / 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm / United States / Health

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

by shamefaced / 12/06/2012 at 10:11pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

by triple l / 10/15/2012 at 4:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous