officialkaytee

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officialkaytee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 297
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About officialkaytee : "I got the lightest touch when it comes to rollin' that shit up."

officialkaytee's page activity

Visits<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:58pm<b>dangerika93</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 2:34pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 2:32am<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 3:38am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 6:45pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 9:26pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 3:25am<b>waffule365</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 12:26pm<b>zebralover23</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 10:13pm<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 5:00pm<b>allyson12345</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 4:02pm<b>astonedraccoon</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 4:01pm<b>bballmatt</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 3:41pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 2:46pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 12:14am<b>bellabuxton</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 11:33am<b>baba01</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 9:28am<b>AliceeH</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 10:31pm

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officialkaytee's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

by Bnewlove / 07/31/2013 at 12:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

by mylifesucks / 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

by StockedWithJuice / 07/06/2013 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

by blahblah / 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

by me / 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

by habassistant / 01/02/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

by jsmills92 / 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, it was my first day in Paris. I've been saving up for five years. It was a rainy day, but I was determined to go see the Eiffel Tower. On my way, I fell down a slippery set of stairs and knocked both of my front teeth out. Now, I have the view of the Eiffel Tower from my hospital window. FML

by parisklutz / 10/20/2012 at 3:06am / France (Lorraine) / Health

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous