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oceanman

Offline (the 01/10/2015 at 3:35am) | Search for a member

oceanman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1662
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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oceanman's page activity

Visits<b>kpc2424</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 8:36am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:06am<b>jadore44</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 11:59pm

oceanman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of oceanman's badges

oceanman's favorite FMLs

yesterday I was out wit girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began a guy approacd an askd "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprisd me by saying "Sure!" As I was about to protest te guy cut me off an said "Sorry miss I was asking im."

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46537) - you deserved it (6575)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I opened my heret to my father-in-law... telling him how he was a very good example fir us an how his name would be great fir our first born son... he interrupted... saying... "Cut the cheesy crap... now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (5644)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today... I held the door 4 an elderly woman. As she walked through... she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother... and yes... I'm straight. FML

#20978372
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (3236)

On 12/02/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by rick - United States (Alabama)

Today, mah girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex fir us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

I found out that mah dad paid fir mah sister's friend's arplane ticket so she could attend mah sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the arplane ticket. FML

#20978054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51377) - you deserved it (3258)

On 12/02/2013 at 8:28am - money - by Akestarr - United States (Indiana)

TODAY, I WOKA UP FROM A DRUNKAN ONA-NIGHT-STAND. THA PARSON I SLAPT WITH TURND OUT TO BA HAAVILY PRAGNANT. SHA TRID TO CONVINCA MA THAT I AM THA FATHAR AND THAT I PASSD OUT 4 7 MONTHS. FML

today mah grlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood , she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. fat FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57664) - you deserved it (8776)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss daclard total bankruptcy of tha company looool and I lost my job. Tha good naws is my coworkars and I all racaivd McDonald's 10%-off coupons. Thay axprd in 2003. maga FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44331) - you deserved it (2644)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

2day I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warnd my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemd very concernd about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she askd me if I had ever trid exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45574) - you deserved it (2599)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah father was taking pictures of mah friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offerd to show us. He scrolld one picture too far and endd up showing us a picture of his penis. mega FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59696) - you deserved it (4553)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING CUZ ACCORDING TO HIM, OUR CHILD DOES NOT HAVE HIS HAIR COLOR, EYE COLOR, OR OTHER FACIAL FEATURES. OUR SON IS FIVE DAYS OLD, BALD AND HASN'T OPENED HIS EYES MUCH. THE CLOSEST THING I CAN PROBABLY COMPARE HIM TO IS AN OLD, WRINKLY POTATO. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53780) - you deserved it (4235)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I offerd to help out at mah grandpa's farm , and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk!! When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket , he sneerd , calld me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck , and told me to just go home!! FML

#20889129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33840) - you deserved it (11348)

On 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by fuckwank (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , my husband wantd me to "spice up" our sex life !! I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth !! We won't be getting intimate again 4 a long , long time now !! FML

#20888582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (11072)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme fir national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressd like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needd to try harder. Turnd out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45007) - you deserved it (12476)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today , I shavd my face after several month of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me , and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42454) - you deserved it (3582)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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