Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3674
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>captmiller1</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 7:25pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 7:25am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:47pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:19am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:09pm<b>ILOLAtYourLife19</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 1:30am<b>aidenmccarthy03</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:08pm<b>stonealone</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:19am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:59pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:58am<b>plasteredgore</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:24am<b>YumeWolf</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 10:16am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:32am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:56pm<b>EnJey0</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 8:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:57am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:33am

Fucked!<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58046) - you deserved it (5382)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42939) - you deserved it (18595)

On 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm - animals - by imalosertho (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML


I agree, your life sucks (59638) - you deserved it (7122)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43945) - you deserved it (10181)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45158) - you deserved it (9565)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68186) - you deserved it (8559)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my coworkers decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. I'm not pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44156) - you deserved it (5326)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:58pm - work - by fat girl - United States (Alaska)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54405) - you deserved it (4762)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (61832) - you deserved it (7829)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46260) - you deserved it (7515)

On 04/13/2014 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML


I agree, your life sucks (37709) - you deserved it (5563)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40491) - you deserved it (7783)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: