obnum

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Offline (the 05/03/2016 at 11:50pm)

obnum

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4475
  • Number of comments : 183
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:55am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 11:01pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:41am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 1:29am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:22pm<b>thatguy3812</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:21am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 9:18am<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 9:39am<b>IceBerge</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:27pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 5:15pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 12:49am<b>katachristic</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:32pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:23pm<b>GrumblySphinx</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 10:54pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:37pm<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 7:37pm

Fucked!<b>johnjkl</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:31pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:28am<b>doodlesnicker</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:01am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML

by tbee / 09/05/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

by SadAndDeaf / 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

by dining / 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

by That idiot / 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

by Stellarum / 08/18/2014 at 11:13am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Kids

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia / Health

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health