Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3876
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>constipation</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:54pm<b>dylanj0119</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:37pm<b>johnjkl</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 7:31am<b>pharaohasphuck</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 5:07pm<b>ThatLoneIyGuy</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:36am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 4:42pm<b>oasis359</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 1:45pm<b>icyconix</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:12am<b>Nightwolf32</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:52am<b>UrWaifuIsShit</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:38am<b>Winterborn253</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 5:39am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:28am<b>nomnomthebunny</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:26am<b>xn3x</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 1:11am<b>doodlesnicker</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 1:01am<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:20pm<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Meepsters</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 10:36pm

Fucked!<b>johnjkl</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:31pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:28am<b>doodlesnicker</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:01am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34807) - you deserved it (10166)

On 09/05/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by tbee - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54046) - you deserved it (2966)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34990) - you deserved it (2789)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40233) - you deserved it (3459)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50267) - you deserved it (19491)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42630) - you deserved it (4062)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML


I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (4359)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41851) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41680) - you deserved it (4859)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (6875)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42841) - you deserved it (5093)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54648) - you deserved it (6302)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: