Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3900
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 25 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>constipation</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:54pm<b>dylanj0119</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:37pm<b>johnjkl</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 7:31am<b>pharaohasphuck</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 5:07pm<b>ThatLoneIyGuy</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:36am<b>lemonadestand</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 4:42pm<b>oasis359</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 1:45pm<b>icyconix</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:12am<b>Nightwolf32</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:52am<b>UrWaifuIsShit</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:38am<b>Winterborn253</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 5:39am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:28am<b>nomnomthebunny</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:26am<b>xn3x</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 1:11am<b>doodlesnicker</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 1:01am<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:20pm<b>Idekanymore123</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Meepsters</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 10:36pm

Fucked!<b>johnjkl</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:31pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 9:28am<b>doodlesnicker</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:01am<b>ARCHANGELGABRIEL</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:59pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29pm<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:53pm

obnum's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (6277)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - kids - by afather - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (2217)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (2267)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (5929)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31309) - you deserved it (2767)

On 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (2590)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34072) - you deserved it (5037)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40625) - you deserved it (4172)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML


Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46901) - you deserved it (4335)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (3724)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (6227)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38181) - you deserved it (3208)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: